Where’s the Shame?

What would you think if you saw a guy walking through the mall and he had a bull’s eye on the front of his pants right over the fly?  You’d probably laugh and think he’s a pervert.  I thought of this the other day while I was in the airport and I was walking behind a girl wearing sweatpants with the word “Pink” across the rear.  I’ve read the articles and had conversations with women about being treated equally with men, that they’re not “just a piece of meat”, etc..  But here was a young lady intentionally drawing attention to a part of her body that if you said anything to her about, she’d probably slap you.

The way we dress along with the music we listen to and the shows we watch amazes me.  We’ve got comfortable with what the world has told us our value is.  And our value has no shame.  Shirts are tighter, pants sit lower, and frankly our imagination doesn’t need a whole lot of use anymore.  We get sucked into what the world wants us to be.  The world has made sexuality common place; and made relationships superficial.  It’s all about “Look at me”, not “How are you”.  We’re now so caught up in the physical interaction and the way that clothes, music, and people make us feel that we have lost what really makes us special.  It’s okay to love who you are and to be comfortable with your body.  But that comfort might be a roadblock to creating a more meaningful relationship with someone.  At what point do your relationships become more about you than the other person?  Are you getting dressed up so that they will like you more?

Shame comes when we feel like we have haven’t lived up to the value that someone we care about has put on us.  You’re ashamed when your mom hears me swearing like a sailor.  You’re ashamed to drive your car because you can’t afford to get the muffler fixed.  You’re ashamed when your girlfriend hears you talking about your date with the guys.  You’re ashamed when you feel like you’re not living up to the value of those you care about. 

What I see today is there isn’t a lot of shame anymore.  We have no shame with our family or our friends.  We do whatever we want to whenever we want and if people don’t like it, they just don’t care about me.  With a little bit of shame comes the realization of how much those people care about us.  The anger and resentment goes away, and you understand that you have let them down.  You feel their love and want to do better; not for you, but for them.  And in the end it makes you a happier person too.


About Ben Moushon

Connections Director at The Underground. I love to write and connect with people about their stories and opinions about life, God, culture, and the world. It's about the journey and the conversations that occur along the way. View all posts by Ben Moushon

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